This week we would have announced the life of our baby.
Due at the end of February 2018.
Instead, I am writing a prayer, begging God for love to rule my life, not bitterness.
I pray for my friends and the many women I don’t know who need intercession on their behalf. This kind of loss is often too deep for words, and society as well falls silent, offering little to no shared grief. Because how can you grieve something you never had? Maybe that’s the point. We’re grieving what we’ve never had.
So I pray, because everything else is a dark road.
I pray for all the women moving forward from miscarriage or death of an infant, as we try to move forward, as we try to choose love over resentment,
to choose hope over despair,
to choose forgiveness and healing rather than holding a grudge against you God,
who cannot do wrong, for you are just.
We ask for your forgiveness, for the times that pain has perhaps been the catalyst for sin,
in our hearts, minds, words, and actions.
Forgive us Lord.
You know best. Help us to trust you Lord.
You care for us even in our loneliness here on earth.
May our affections be for You and not be contingent on the things of this world– like children, career, or spouse.
You alone can satisfy.
The enemy is begging us to believe otherwise as we sit in the ashes of our lost children.
The enemy is begging us to lose trust in You, as we see faithful friends with healthy, happy children and marriages.
The enemy perhaps loves the isolation we feel and sometimes makes us recount our sins and unworthiness that may have led us to this judgment and sentence from You. All lies.
Protect us Lord.
Do not let us become hardened and harsh, cynical or bitter, despising where you have us at this point.
Rather, let us be all what the enemy hates–
let us have radical love for those around us,
keep us gentle, hopeful, open to redemption and grace.
Rid us of all selfishness and conceit.
Let us be okay with being slighted, for others being counted better than ourselves.
Let us die to ourselves and our notions of how life should be.
So that we can come to you, empty, saying,
Lord, we trust you with our lives.
You alone can satisfy.
Give us ears to hear what you desire for our lives.
Give us holy work to do that brings redemption to this broken world.
If we cannot be mothers at this moment, help us to help the young mothers in our lives instead of being pained by the gift you have given them.
Teach us how to lament righteously. Help us to teach our friends, in grace, how to better serve us as we grieve.
Give us the courage to speak and shine light on miscarriage, infertility, postpartum depression, and all issues that keep women ashamed and isolated. May your light shine brightly in the darkness of these situations and bring hope, encouragement, and redemption.
May we hold each other up and rejoice with those who rejoice, but also do the harder task of weeping with those who weep.
May we not be miserable comforters, providing remedies or spiritual advice, but simply provide our presence or prayerful words. Words that comfort, heal, and break down any sense of isolation.
I pray all of this in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Wonder Woman is not just the latest superhero movie. It is a film that finally, wonderfully shows a powerful woman shaping her own destiny while still retaining her compassionate and gentle nature. Wonder Woman showcases the story of Diana, a woman born on a mystical island of all women who discovers the need to fight evil in a much larger world. In a voyeuristic sense, the film successfully creates a world where we believe what we are seeing—mythical powers and legends displayed at grand levels. Vicariously, we connect with Diana on a human level, instead of seeing her purely as a mythical superhero. One example of this is when she arrives in London with her shield and sword, yet still wants to coo over a baby when passing it by on the street.
Director Patty Jenkins created a world where women are portrayed as strong and fierce, yet still feminine and kindhearted. She successfully humanized the character of Wonder Woman by focusing on her compassionate motives rather than focusing purely on her strength or sexiness (though those aspects of her character are certainly used and present). Like most super hero movies, this film cries out for the need of the world’s redemption. We see and experience evil, and we need a savior who is stronger than us to save it. Diana wants to enter in and save the world on her own, but she realizes the world is not divided clearly into “good” and “bad.” It is much more complex, and she realizes she cannot do it alone.